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    How to Open Your Mind to Let Love In?

    How to Open Your Mind to Let Love In?

    So how do you change the core beliefs in your subconscious mind? There are many ways that you can easily transform your belief system. The simple answer is to find a method of relaxing your mind so that it can accept new, beneficial information. If you have ever looked in the mirror and said, “I love you,” and the voice in your head responded, “Who are you kidding?” then you’ve experienced the wonderful power of your subconscious mind. The deep levels of your mind will generally reject new ideas that do not match those that are already stored. It’s just like pouring water over hard, dry soil; the water simply runs off the surface. The earth initially rejects the water because the soil has become unreceptive. It takes time and effort for the water to be absorbed until it nourishes the soil.

    The subconscious does not like change. Your mind does not like surprises, and it thrives on keeping you in your “comfort zone.” You can change over time, though, because eventually, new ideas can sink in. Here are some ways in which the subconscious can be influenced to accept new ideas after your adult filter has formed:


    If you hear or read something over and over again, you will eventually believe the idea. You have heard the expression “I am going to beat this idea into my head.” Quite literally, the subconscious mind weakens its defense against an idea that is mentioned over and over again and finally just accepts it. Have you ever listened to an annoying pop song on the radio and then found yourself singing the tune later in your mind because you heard it so many times? Repetitive advertising, political messages, and the opinions of peers, whether good or bad, can also penetrate your subconscious. Imagine a teenager constantly being teased about her body. As an adult, she may keep the belief that she is overweight long after she has outgrown her baby fat. This could lead to her being insecure about her body and possibly becoming addicted to working out, developing an eating disorder, and/or avoiding intimate contact with men.


    Information received from a doctor, a lawyer, a politician, a boss,a parent, or someone you admire has a good chance of going right into your inner mind. For example, if a doctor tells a patient he will recover quickly, the patient tends to recover at record pace. If the doctor tells the patient he has six months to live and that there is no hope, the patient may die in exactly six months. If a politician says that terrorists are everywhere, plotting our demise, the public tends to be afraid. This phenomenon is seen in cults, where the leader actually “hypnotizes” the followers to believe that his way is best. For hundreds of years, men have taken a position of authority in the world and in marriages. Women tend to look at the men in their lives as authority figures and as greater than themselves: as people whom they have to win over. If a woman has this viewpoint, then any major rejection from a man, such as a divorce or infidelity, can be devastating, and her deeper mind might begin to believe that she is not worthy or deserving of a loving reltionship.

    An intense emotional event

    Many people find that their core false beliefs originated in significant events in their lives—a death, an accident, or an abusive experience. At any age, a person who undergoes a trauma might experience a radical change in the opinions of the deep mind. While in a state of shock, the subconscious mind cannot rationalize what is going on and relies on emotional responses. A traumatic event makes a strong impression on the subconscious by also creating a hardwired memory of the event. This old memory triggers the same feelings when it is stimulated by a similar experience. Even if the new incident is only vaguely like the traumatic circumstances, the deep mind pulls up the old memory and automatically replays the emotional response. For example, a person who, either as a child or as an adult, has been verbally or sexually abused by a man may end up believing that “men are not safe.” Women with this core belief tend to push the nice guys away and settle for abusive men because their inner minds do not believe it is possible for them to receive love and adoration from a man.


    The people around you teach you what to believe. As you grew up, your friendships had a strong effect on your belief system. Some women had friends who placed a high value on looks, while others focused on excelling in school. Most of my childhood friends were not career oriented, and they became housewives and mothers in their early twenties. When I compared myself to them, I felt like a loser because I was not married at twenty-three. Did you hang around with the wrong crowd? What about the people you surround yourself with now? Think of your girlfriends, coworkers, and family. Do they always tell you that men are jerks, that there are no good men left, or that you will be single forever? Or are you surrounded by happily married couples who encourage you and say that you are wonderful?

    The people in your environment also affect your beliefs on a subconscious level. Even if you disagree with them, when you spend time with these people, your inner mind eventually loses its defense against their beliefs. You may unconsciously start to mirror their behavior and take on their ideas. For example, if you have friends who are very concerned with finding romance, you may judge yourself poorly if you do not have a boyfriend. If your friends are all freewheeling singles, you may ignore your desire to find a mate and instead engage in wild sexual activities with random men, all the while trying to convince yourself that you are simply having fun.


    The relaxed mental state of trance or meditation allows the subconscious to be more open to new ideas. You experience a trancelike state every day. The lightest stage is the alpha state. You are in this state when you drive a car or perform a repetitive task. When you are completely engaged and focused—reading a book, watching a movie, or listening to an interesting speaker—you are in the alpha (trance) state.

    Think about all of the romantic movies you have seen. Your mind may believe that if your own relationship isn’t like those in the movies, you must not be in love. Self-hypnosis involves using simple relaxation and visualization techniques to fill the deeper mind with new, updated ideas of being lovable and worthy so that you can see immediate results in your dating life.


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