When people have married someone who is incompatible with them, the void between them can be keenly felt, the extent of which depends on how important that area is. What they feel is lacking from their partner can result in any multitude of things:
•not feeling appreciated;
•feeling alone as their partner doesn’t share the same goals and aspirations;
•their partner not understanding them.
It is human nature that when our needs are not met, whether they’re emotional or sexual needs, then the hunger for it means we start looking for it elsewhere, either consciously or unconsciously. This is the case when people are unhappy in their relationships and feel alone, they seek comfort elsewhere. This can be through finding their own group of friends or social life.
Then if they happen to meet someone else that can give them what we are lacking in their own marriage, then it’s only human nature to take what they crave, leading to an affair.
It is important not to assign blame as it is no one’s fault when this happens:
not the cheater for being selfish nor the one being cheated on for not being a better partner. They just did not meet each other’s needs as they were not compatible and therefore were not meant for each other to begin with.
However, if it was not a matter of the cheater being unhappy at home, but down to their inability to stay monogamous, then that is a sign that marriage itself is unsuitable for that person, or they need to pair up with someone else with whom they’re like-minded on this issue.
Love each other but still not entirely compatible?
Sometimes just because you have been married a long time does not necessarily mean that you are perfect for each other. Often people are not entirely happy with their partner and wished some things were different, but they don’t feel that issue is overwhelmingly strong enough to justify getting divorced, especially if there are children involved.
There are also people who feel their relationship is great; however, there are a few areas that they need to work on. Often, you may hear them say; “I love my partner but I’m not in love with her”, “It would be better if she didn’t have such a bad temper”, or “Our relationship is great except I don’t enjoy sex with him anymore”.
This is also a sign that, while you and your partner may match in quite a lot of different areas, you are still not the right or exact match for each other. You can be happy enough with your partner, but they are not the best match possible for you.
It is just like the case of certain careers, you may do well enough in one but would do even better and be even happier in another to which you’re better suited. An example is Bill Gates; he is truly in his element having gone into the best career possible being in software development.
Now, picture him making construction equipment instead. He may well have been quite successful and happy there, but he would be nowhere near as successful and happy as he is in developing software. Likewise, you can be happy enough with your partner, but if there are still some things you are unhappy with, this then this indicates that it may not be the best possible match for you.