Beloved youth, I’d want you to know that for anyone to experience a successful courtship there are certain factors that must be considered. Nevertheless, it is expedient for you to first know what a successful courtship implies. A successful courtship does not necessarily imply a dating that resulted into marriage or broke-up before becoming consummated in wedding.
As a matter of fact, that the two fellows who were afore-time in courtship are now husband and wife does not yet spell a successful courtship. Do not make an irrational conclusion about this matter; a successful courtship is known through successful matrimony of the fellows. In other words, it is the marriage life of the two in question that explains whether or not they had a successful courtship.
Wedding lasts just for one day but marriage should last till death do the couple part. A successful courtship is that which results in successful matrimony. Emphatically, I’d like you to know that successful courtships are bound to enjoy thrilling and fulfilling matrimony while the failure in courtship period of any relationship leading to marriage will produce problematic matrimony, which will ultimately result in divorcement or separation of the couple the long run.
Someone had rightly said that ‘honesty is the best of all life’s policies’. This statement is best applied to this subject matter called courtship; be very honest to each other. You see, I know that as I have said be honest to each other the next thing the individual begins to plan is how to struggle and attain the status of honesty; yet there is no need to struggle trying to be honest to the next fellow if you can only be honest to yourself
—honesty to yourself will ultimately result in your being honest to your partner. You don’t have to try to be honest to that fellow; just be honest to yourself. This is the perfect way to attain genuine honesty. For if you are not honest to yourself even though you appeared to be very honest to the other person, yet, you aren’t actually honest at all. You are the only correct measure to gauge your personal honesty to the other fellow
—you are the only one who knows whether you are actually honest. And this is one of the major problems of the human community; for if everyone is very honest to himself/herself the human kingdom would have been like heaven. Oh! How beautiful it will be if two people operate a perfect honesty in their relationship! Your honesty can be best measured by you. The only person who knows whether you are honest or not is yourself and God.
However, your dishonesty will boomerang and when this happens you will have yourself to blame. The first key factor to be considered in your quest for a successful courtship is honesty. Be very honest at all times and in all situations. If you are wrong in any matter, be honestly wrong and if you are right in any matter, be honestly right. Do not pretend that all is right and well when you know deep down in your heart that all isn’t alright at all.
Recognize that this relationship is more or less like creating a new world and as such not all the ‘dos’ and the ‘donts’ of where you were coming from may be applicable to this new home. Your spouse is neither your dad nor your mum; as such don’t expect him/her to be one of the two. Be receptive to changes especially when they are essentially needed in other to make the relationship a better one.
I have discovered that one of the major reasons for failure in the courtship of people which eventually result in matrimonial failure, is traceable to the individual’s unwillingness or inability to make changes where necessary and the reason being the fact that the changes that are needed are out of the usual standard of the family from where he/she sourced from. Listen, it will take adjustment upon adjustment to make your relationship a success.
This is not a case of as it was in the beginning so it must remain till the end! No! Things cannot always remain the same; you must be flexible enough to embrace changes as they unfold in the course of building the relationship and if there is a change you cannot accept, it could be a sign that the matrimony may not be successful; therefore, it is better to end everything in courtship. Do not marry each other if there is an unwillingness to embrace the necessary changes that you may need in other to make the relationship a success. Do not hurt your future!
Be Very Real
Dear youth friend, the courtship period is never a period to joke with! It isn’t the time to play hide and seek game kind of love. Love is not blind by any standard! It is the human beings that are blindly in love. Well, as far as I am concerned, I’ve got no problems with blind love or blind lovers, provided the love remains blind forever and the blind lover remains blind lover forever; for, the day you permit the love’s eyes to be opened and the blind lover receives his/her sight back, that is the day of the doom of the relationship. There is no point faking out who you are not!
Do not be a hypocrite but be very real to each other. Now, this is what you should know, you may successfully hide your true personality for a while but not forever and when you never expect it to be known, like smoke it will infiltrate the atmosphere. Let your spouse take you and love you for whom you are; this is very essential. Why should you prepare for a future regret? If you are real to each other now that you are in courtship, you won’t be strangers to each other after the wedding day.
You may plan your castle in the air but never built it in the air. Be realistic to each other. Do not in the name of let peace reign; succumb to glaringly obvious wrong opinions of your partner. You are both needed in decision making and should be able to freely express your view and your partner should be willing to accept it when your opinion is better than that of his/hers without much struggling. There are those who enjoy deceiving each other a lot. Whatever lifestyle you build during the courtship will be the lifestyle you will both live as couple after the wedding day. It does profit nothing playing the fool’s game of a chameleon lifestyle
— always blending with the status quo even when the status quo is absurd and incorrigible. Courtship period is the period for facing facts! Do not postpone it to the after ‘the wedding’, it may be disastrous.
Your courtship will be successful if you are very honest to each other during your courting period. And if both of you embrace flexibility enough to make every necessary change that you may have to make in other to make your relationship a successful one. However, you have to be very real to each other as any pretense may give your partner a wrong perception about your personality. Be factual at all times.