Sunday, July 3, 2022

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    Your Dating Destiny: It’s All in Your Mind!

    Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

    A tall, blond, pretty thirty-two-year-old woman came into my office for some relationship work. Her dark-blue business suit accentuated her piercing blue eyes and gave her an appearance of confidence, which vanished when she slumped into the chair. Holding crumpled tissues, she wiped the tears from her face. She could not maintain her composure. Mary had just been dumped again. Tired of rejection after rejection, she asked me whether there was any hope that she would ever find love.

    Everything else in her life seemed to be going well. She was intelligent and had a high-paying job as a computer programmer. She had many close friends and a great family. But despite having all of the outward signs of a happy life, she couldn’t find a man to stick around longer than two months. Each rejection ravaged her self-esteem, and she had nowhere else to turn. She looked at me that day and pleaded, “Can you help? ”

    After several sessions of hypnotherapy, she learned to laugh at her own mistakes, became more aware of her pattern of selecting certain types of men, and felt empowered to make different choices. She transformed from a wounded victim who felt “not good enough” to a powerful, self-assured woman who really believed she deserved a great relationship. Over a two-month period, her confidence increased through the use of self-hypnosis visualizations. Her life changed dramatically because she was able to break the cycle of attracting unavailable men. Six months after our final session, she called to tell me that she had met the man of her dreams. Two years later, she reported that they were happily married. She strongly believes that her success in building a healthy relationship is due to the work we did together.

    Mary is like countless other clients who have come to me over the years to heal their relationship issues. According to the 2000 U.S. Census, more than 95.7 million Americans are single. Sixty-three percent of them have never been married, and many are women. Not all of these people want partners, but a large majority of single women do want love and are either afraid to get involved again or do not think that love is possible.

    With such an abundance of single people out there, why are so many women— including you—struggling to find a partner? The main underlying reason is because whatever you think and believe about relationships will be manifested in your life and in the people you date. In Mary’s case, she felt unwanted and unlovable on a deep level, so she unconsciously attracted men who reinforced that idea. These men always left her, and she continued the destructive cycle of thinking that she was unlovable until she changed her subconscious beliefs.

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